How to deal with toxic friends

Toxic Friendships play a crucial role in shaping our lives, but not all friendships are beneficial. Some friends drain our energy, manipulate our emotions, and bring negativity into our lives. In the Bhagavad Gita and other Vedic scriptures, Lord Krishna teaches us how to deal with such toxic relationships with wisdom, grace, and detachment.

Understanding Toxic Friendships in the Light of Krishna’s Teachings

Toxic friends can be jealous, manipulative, or selfish, making it difficult to grow spiritually and emotionally. Krishna‘s life, particularly in his interactions with various characters in the Mahabharata, provides valuable lessons on how to handle such relationships.

1. Identify the Nature of the Friendship

Lord Krishna teaches us to differentiate between a true friend and a deceitful one. Just as he guided the Pandavas to recognize the treachery of Duryodhana, we too must recognize toxic traits in friendships.

“A friend should be like Arjuna, loyal and devoted, not like Duryodhana, full of envy.”
Sanskrit: मित्रम् ति प्रयो मित्रम् न कारणम्॥ (Bhagavad Gita 9.22) (One must choose their associations wisely.)

2. Maintain Detachment (Vairagya) and Self-Control

Krishna advises that we should not let toxic friendships affect our mental peace. Detachment does not mean a lack of love but rather emotional maturity.

“Be like Krishna—love unconditionally but never be bound by attachment.”
Hindi: कृष्ण की तरह प्रेम करो, प्रेम छोड़ो मगर नहीं।

3. Set Healthy Boundaries (Maryada)

Krishna maintained boundaries even with people close to him. When Shishupala repeatedly insulted him, Krishna forgave him a hundred times but eventually took decisive action.

“Patience has limits; beyond that, one must act wisely.”
Tamil: तेऩार् वाट्ट कालम् वेळि, अतिय मुयर्प्पोट्ऱ पाणिट्टाल्।

4. Focus on Dharma and Higher Purpose

Krishna’s message in the Bhagavad Gita is clear: focus on your duty (Dharma) and not get distracted by negativity.

“Stay rooted in Dharma, and toxic people will naturally fall away.”
Gujarati: धर्म पर केंद्रित रहो, नेगेटिव लोग प्रकृतिक तरह चला जायेछे।

5. Elevate Yourself Spiritually (Bhakti and Satsang)

The best way to move away from toxic friendships is to immerse yourself in spirituality. Seek the company of like-minded individuals who uplift you.

“When you walk the path of devotion, Krishna himself becomes your friend.”
Bengali: কৃষ্ণের ভক্তি পথে চললে, সাম্পর্থে কৃষ্ণ ঘণিষ্টা হয়ে যায়।

Key Teachings of Krishna

Lord Krishna’s teachings, as found in the Bhagavad Gita and other scriptures, provide profound wisdom on life, relationships, and spirituality. Here are some key teachings of Krishna:

1. Perform Your Duty Without Attachment (Karma Yoga)

Krishna emphasizes selfless action—doing one’s duty without worrying about the results.

Quote: “Karmanye vadhikaraste, ma phaleshu kadachana” (Bhagavad Gita 2.47)
(You have the right to perform your duty, but never to its fruits.)

2. Be Detached, Yet Loving (Vairagya and Bhakti)

Krishna teaches us to love unconditionally while remaining unattached to outcomes.

Example: Krishna loved the Gopis deeply but never sought possession—his love was divine and free.

3. True Friendship is Based on Loyalty and Dharma

Krishna’s friendship with Sudama and Arjuna shows that true friends uplift each other spiritually.

Lesson: A real friend stands by you in all situations, guiding you toward righteousness.

4. Control Desires and Stay in Balance (Samatvam)

Krishna advises maintaining equanimity in success and failure.

Quote: “Samatvam yoga uchyate” (Bhagavad Gita 2.48)
(Equanimity in all situations is the true definition of Yoga.)

5. Surrender to the Divine (Bhakti Yoga)

Krishna assures that complete surrender leads to liberation from all worries.

Quote: “Sarva-dharman parityajya, mam ekam sharanam vraja” (Bhagavad Gita 18.66)
(Abandon all varieties of duties and surrender unto Me.)

6. Mind Control Leads to Peace

Krishna teaches that a restless mind leads to suffering, while a controlled mind brings peace.

Example: Arjuna initially hesitated in battle, but Krishna’s wisdom calmed his mind and gave him clarity.

7. Truth and Righteousness Always Prevail (Dharma Wins in the End)

Krishna’s role in the Mahabharata demonstrates that no matter how powerful evil seems, Dharma (righteousness) ultimately triumphs.

Conclusion

Krishna’s way of dealing with toxic friendships teaches us:

Recognize the true nature of friends.
Practice detachment without resentment.
Set healthy boundaries with wisdom.
Focus on one’s duty (Dharma).
Elevate oneself spiritually through Bhakti.

By following these teachings, we can navigate our friendships with grace, ensuring that only positive influences shape our journey. As Krishna says in the Gita:

“A man is made by the company he keeps. Choose wisely.”

Our website, The Gita, is dedicated to spreading Krishna’s timeless wisdom and spiritual teachings, helping individuals apply them in daily life for inner peace and self-realization.”*